I found out today that Christian recording artist Jennifer Knapp is gay. She has ‘come out’ because she wants to be utterly honest with her listeners. As I read her interview with Christianity Today, I was deeply saddened to see the recurring theme of how she just kept struggling to ‘measure up’ as a Christian:
At a certain point I find myself so handcuffed in my own faith by trying to get it right–to try and look like a Christian, to try to do the things that Christians should do, to be all of these things externally–to fake it until I get myself all handcuffed and tied up in knots as to what I was supposed to be doing there in the first place.
Wow. This theme of ‘trying to get it right’ was observed all throughout the interview. I get it–I relate to her all too well. The difference is that I have had the grace of God go before me and provide me with a solid church body and people who have called me on my ‘works-righteousness’ mentality.
Ironically, one of my favorite songs by Jennifer was from her Kansas cd called “Undo Me”. This phrase struck me curiously back when I first heard the song. Then I read Isaiah 6 and began to understand it. I’m just going to copy the whole first 5 verses because it’s so important:
In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one cried to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory!” And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke. So I said: “Woe is me, for I am undone!”
As God teaches me more and more about surrendering to Him, this passage takes on greater meaning. Because I can become so performance-focused (“Just tell me what I need to do and I’ll do it…give me a ‘good Christian checklist’ and I’ll complete it”), I’m convicted by how futile my performance is. This passage gives us a glimpse at what a holy God we serve. He is so holy that when near His presence Isaiah says “woe is moe, for I am undone!” He realizes what a sinner he is; he rightly compares his state with God. There’s nothing more to do or say; he is undone.
In other words, we cannot *do* enough to be a ‘good Christian’. Pretty soon you’re going to realize this and either give up (surrender to God alone) or get mad, give up and turn the other way. I think Jennifer Knapp has done the latter based on what I read in the interview. Because she kept referring to wanting to measure up, I can only imagine the frustration she must’ve gone through as she struggled with sin (in her case, specifically speaking, homosexuality) and thought ‘how can I measure up; how can I do the things Christians are supposed to do’ when her flesh was fighting her spirit so badly?
You know what the problem is, though? If she were to just walk away from the faith then it would be rather simple to deal with the story. We would pray for her to repent and return to the Lord. But she, along with other Christian artists lately it seems, continues to hold fast to her Christian faith YET hold fast as well to her indulgent sin.
Now the confusion sets in.
So, we’ve got Christian magazines giving her space to justify, we’ve got Christians out there agreeing with her and giving worldly wisdom as to why they’re ok with her lifestyle. But, we’re missing a call to repentance…how on earth could I possibly be politically correct and socially acceptable to even mention that Jennifer Knapp should repent IF BEING GAY ISN’T A SIN? In the words of Jerry Seinfeld, “not that there’s anything wrong with that!”
Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron…But reject profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness…1 Timothy 4: 1-2, 7
Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth , and be turned aside to fables. 2 Timothy 4: 2-4
Seems like the devil’s trick this time might something like this—> if you sin, don’t call it sin. Find other people who agree with you, who make the Word say what you want it to say, and then continue indulging in your sin. If someone calls it a sin, just tell them they’re not being loving or accepting of who you are. Perhaps even throw out the ‘grace’ card and tell them that if they’d stop focusing on the law then maybe they would have grace for you instead! But, don’t leave room to acknowledge that what you’re doing is sin…because then, maybe, you might be called to repent of it.
And, now that I’ve said the g-word (grace, of course), let’s go there for a moment. Grace is precisely why I don’t have to juggle every good deed up in the air in order to please God. I don’t have to do all the things ‘Christians do’ in order to be acceptable to God. Why? Because Christ died for me. His sacrifice ALONE took away my sins and replaced them with His perfect righteousness. I am now forgiven and accepted in the sight of God. Nothing I do impacts this. Yes, I do good works…out of the internal change that God has done in me. The externals are an overflow of the internals. Jennifer Knapp, in her quote, was focused on the externals. She may sing about grace, but does she really know it? I’m not talking about the cheap grace that says “anything goes because Jesus loves you just the way you are”; I’m talking about the PRICELESS GRACE that Jesus gave through His own life.
Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6: 9-11