Recently I have been called to repent of some sins that are fairly “run-of-the-mill” and “respectable”. You may understand what I’m talking about, those sins that seem to run rampant among most people and often go unchecked because they are small enough that life tends to move along in spite of them. Maybe it’s a quick and harsh reply to another person’s question; maybe it’s squabbling with the siblings; maybe it’s just looking out for Number One instead of putting another’s interests first. Yes, these sins were evident in my children as well, but many of their sins are mirrors of my own (or my husband’s). The call to repentance needed to start with me and then we could exhort our children to do the same.
After this call to repentance, the action part began. I knew that it was not enough to merely say “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I’ll never do that again”. But, there was now a need to live this repentance out. How do you just begin changing ugly old habits?
By completely and utterly depending on the One who has the strength and power to transform you!
Since the call to repentance, I’ve literally awakened each morning saying “I can’t do this, God. I need You to completely work through me…all day long.” It gets a bit overwhelming when I think of doing this every day for the rest of my life; however, God keeps reminding me to just take this one day at a time and not worry myself over tomorrow. (Oh, the bible references just whiz all over my head when I say this…….Exodus 16–collecting just enough manna that was needed for that day; Matthew 11; James 4, just to name a few)
I find it particularly difficult to respond in the Spirit rather than in the flesh when I’m feeling under the weather. So, wouldn’t you know that the first full week of living out my repentance, not only did I get a bad cold, but I also had the challenge of having all four children home all day long (more opportunities for squibble squabbles!). I knew this would be hard, so I prayed all the more. As I was praying I thought of a visual that helped me greatly. Here I was praying for dependence and the picture of a baby came to my mind. A baby needs her mama all the time–for feeding, for comforting, for changing a diaper, for moving around. Complete dependence. So, knowing that I would be tempted to respond out of the flesh, I imagined myself as a baby in God’s arms. I did not want to attempt to do anything outside of Him. Instead of reaching for my old tools of comfort (criticism, anger, avoidance), I reached for God instead through prayer. And, guess what? Oh, yes. God is good. No doubt about that! I praised Him every evening as I recalled the day and how He strengthened me to respond in kindness rather than rudeness while schooling with my son. He worked in me to respond in patience rather than flying-off-the-handle-impatience when a fight began between brothers. I could see God working in a variety of ways all throughout the day!
By the end of the week, though, I stumbled and fell and have felt miserably about that, yet I know I can persevere as Christ strengthens me to do all things through Him. I hope to learn quickly from my errors so that I can get back into the business of acting like a little baby, dependent upon my Father for every single need I have.
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
Romans 8: 5-6